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Yesterday, following a week that featured Jeffrey Toobin's Zoom Dick Scandal and Rudy Giuliani getting caught with his hand down his pants in Borat 2, YouTuber and prominent Twitter personality Cody Johnston tweeted, "These things happen in threes. There will be another dick incident." Three hours, he replied to the tweet with his answer: the Twitter account for U.S. Army base Fort Bragg had gotten very horny on main.

(Twitter)

The Fort Bragg account was caught replying multiple times to OnlyFans creator Quinn Finite with some relatively sweet simping, defending her pubic hair and pledging that U.S. Army base Fort Bragg and its erection would rise from her crotch to give her a "deep long kiss."

Fort Bragg at first attempted to defend itself by saying its account had been "hacked," but few bought the story; it's difficult to imagine a hacker breaking into a military Twitter account to reply guy a sex worker.

Hacked! (Twitter)

Sure enough, the following day, the official Twitter account for the Fort Bragg-based XVIII Airborne Corps confirmed what most of the internet already suspected: the tweets were sent from an admin who was getting horny on the wrong account.

The Fort Bragg account is currently deactivated after it reported a hack. Nevertheless, its horniness lived on in screenshots and in tweets of people having a field day with the gaffe.

There's still roughly a day and a half in this week, meaning this week might have yet another horny scandal in it yet.


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firngers

Remember, simp on your own time.

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