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Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Testicles Have Attracted Government Interest

September 17th, 2021 - 1:23 PM EDT by Adam

8 comments

(devinsupertramp)

Somewhere in Trinidad, there is allegedly a man whose swollen testicles are a matter of global importance.

Monday night, Nicki Minaj tweeted a bit of hearsay, alleging that her cousin's friend got a COVID-19 vaccine and suffered swollen testicles and impotence as a side effect, leading to his fiancée calling off their wedding.

It was an amusing if highly unlikely anecdote. There is no data suggesting that the COVID-19 vaccine causes impotence and swollen testicles (though STDs do). Still, what could've been just another celebrity offering misguided vaccine advice snowballed into a global media controversy after Minaj sniped at her critics, and now it's an affair of state.

First, Dr. Terrence Deyalsingh, health minister of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago, said that Trinidad officials attempted to track down Minaj's engorged acquaintance, and found no case fitting the criteria she described.

"Unfortunately we wasted so much time yesterday running down this false claim," Deyalsingh said. "As far as we know at this point in time, there has been no such reported either side effect or adverse event. And what was sad about this is that it wasted our time yesterday trying to track down because we take all these claims seriously, whether it’s on social media, or mainstream media."

The White House has also gotten involved, offering to put Minaj on the phone with a doctor to answer her vaccine concerns. Minaj claims the White House invited her to the building, but the White House has not confirmed that.

Meanwhile, a hunt is on for the man with swollen testes. Tucker Carlson issued an open invitation for the man or his fiancée to appear on his show earlier this week. They have apparently yet to respond.

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Comments 8 total

TheOtherRightSide

Sep 19, 2021 at 03:58PM EDT

T&T must be pissed. They want to be known for Carnival and jouvet stuff, not conspiracy theories…

0

KiwiCount

Sep 17, 2021 at 07:14PM EDT

What the fuck happened? Was Minaj critical of vaccines or something?

0

krashlia

Sep 20, 2021 at 04:12AM EDT KiwiCount

The story up till now--

Part one: Nicki Minaj says she's doing her own research, to eventually get vaccinated for a future tour. As opposed to the Met Gala, which was happening at the time of her posting. According to her, a friend of her cousin experienced vaccine side effects. Namely, swollen testes, which become a meme.

Part two: media picks up on this. Joy Ann Reid accuses her of being anti-vaxx. Minaj finds Reids racist and anti-vaxx tweets. Liberal racism in media industry ensues, and Minaj is supported by others. Minaj also spends the time criticising their Chauvinistic political habits and expectation, especially when it comes to Black people.

Part 3: some journalists and media figures try to dox either her or her cousin. So, she doxes them. Media only reports that last part.

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KiwiCount

Sep 20, 2021 at 07:16AM EDT krashlia

What a clusterfuck.

1

Gumshoe

Sep 21, 2021 at 06:11AM EDT KiwiCount

Yes. She said she didn't go to the Met Gala because they required guests to be vaccinated, and she was afraid to get vaccinated because she allged her "cousin's friend" in Trinidad got swollen testicles as a result of being vaccinated, and this resulted in his wedding being called off.

This was pretty blatantly a bullshit story, since this is not a side effect of any of the vaccines or even of covid itself, and most people speculated that if this person even exists and did suffer from swollen testicles, it's most likely because he cheated on his fiancé, got an STD, and that's why the wedding was actually called off. This also meant that it was ample material for jokes and memes.

At the same time, anti-vaxxers are obviously glad to have a high profile celebrity in their ranks so they're getting behind her while the White House is doing the diplomatic thing of pretending her concerns are valid and inviting her to talk to the administration about it, presumably hoping to nip the whole affair in the bud before she goes too deep into the anti-vax wormhole to the point where she can't return.

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nocunoct

Sep 17, 2021 at 04:49PM EDT

/pol/ are hailing Nicki Minaj as their queen just because of this. It's not a joke. Go check those schizos out. It's sad.

8

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