(New M&Ms Characters / Mars)

In a somewhat confusing update from candy world, the candy company Mars has announced that the cast of iconic M&Ms characters will be given a modern makeover to reflect a "more dynamic, progressive world" with character updates to focus on their "personalities, rather than their gender."

Yes, the cast of M&Ms, staples of the candy's ads for decades, are moving away from their antagonistic ways and becoming a tighter group of friends. For some people, this means their worst fear is confirmed: the Green M&M will no longer be sexy.

Instead, she will become a friendlier sort of gal, "better represented to reflect confidence and empowerment, as a strong female, and known for much more than her boots." A promotional script from the M&Ms website finds the Green M&M describing herself as "a hypewoman for my friends." Her key quote is "I’m too busy shining to throw shade."

Other changes include the Red M&M will be kinder, the Brown M&M will embrace the girlboss lifestyle, and, perhaps weirdest of all, the Orange M&M will "acknowledge his anxiety." Mars says the Orange M&M is "one of the most relatable characters with Gen-Z," as Gen Z is the "most anxious generation."

Why is this happening? Well, as Mars puts it, they wish to showcase their "global commitment to creating a world where everyone feels they belong and society is inclusive." They hope that they can "increase the sense of belonging for 10 million people around the world by 2025." One wonders if the yassification of the M&Ms will achieve their goals.

As one might expect, the upcoming woke M&Ms, as some jokesters dubbed them online, provided quite a bit of chatter on Twitter.

It remains to be seen if the M&Ms' redesign will have greater ramifications on the candy industry. Perhaps Reese's will stop playing those weirdly antagonistic ads.


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Comments 24 total

Nurdboy42

They all look the same… People are getting upset over nothing.

0

WarLordM

What would even be woke about the Green M&M being less sexy. It'd be more woke to make her more sexy and also obese or something.

0

Hootanic

Waiting for a plain M&M to "identify as a Peanut M&M".

0

kraas

omg who the fuck cares i guess the candy people will look different as i continue to ignore their dumb commercial that plays before movies

0

Omega MISSINGNO

"the green one will be less sexy"
literally 1984

1

umatbro

BurgerBurgerBurger and Rolling Stone agree

4

Quiet_boi

As long as Brown M&M remains sassy and smart, I'm on board.

2

ZiggyZig

I wonder which one is going to be the "submissive and breedable" one, now?

2

ConspiracyNut

Brown M&M is a nudist, prove me wrong.

1

Terry Jones

That sobering thought of people getting upset that they "cannot fetishize a literal circle anymore".

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

2

BurgerBurgerBurger

"the green one will be less sexy"

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