Director Joss Whedon and Ex-Wife Kai Cole / Image credit: Getty

"Practice what you preach." Words to live by, especially if you're acclaimed film director and feminist evangelist Joss Whedon, whose ex-wife now accuses him of decades of infidelity, despite his "feminist" beliefs.

Writing for The Wrap, Kai Cole, the former spouse of Joss Whedon, the acclaimed director behind Marvel's The Avengers, has accused her estranged ex-husand of years on extramarital affairs, contradicting his repute for writing strong, female characters and espousing feminist beliefs.

Cole, who was married to Whedon for 16 years prior to their divorce in 2016, writes that in their time together, beginning in the early 90s, Whedon had frequent close working relationships with female employees, which he blamed on his "feminist" upbringing. However, in spite of this, she claims that he was involved in years of affairs, specifically during the production of the long-running TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

"There were times in our relationship that I was uncomfortable with the attention Joss paid other women. He always had a lot of female friends, but he told me it was because his mother raised him as a feminist, so he just liked women better. He said he admired and respected females, he didn’t lust after them. I believed him and trusted him. On the set of “Buffy,” Joss decided to have his first secret affair."

Joss Whedon and Kai Cole at South By South West / Image credit: Getty

After years of standing by Whedon, Cole explains, including encouraging him to bring Buffy to TV, his behavior continued throughout their marriage, hiding "multiple affairs and a number of inappropriate emotional ones that he had with his actresses, co-workers, fans, and friends." Cole states that his treatment has led to her being diagnosed with PTSD.

Following their separation in 2012, Whedon confessed to the affairs. However, he refused to admit hypocrisy to the way he portrayed women in the media and how he treated them in real life. Instead, she writes, that Whedon saw his life as something out of a "Greek myth," succumbing to the power inherit in being a successful Hollywood producer.

Fifteen years later, when he was done with our marriage and finally ready to tell the truth, he wrote me, 'When I was running ‘Buffy,’ I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women. It felt like I had a disease, like something from a Greek myth. Suddenly I am a powerful producer and the world is laid out at my feet and I can’t touch it.” But he did touch it. He said he understood, 'I would have to lie -- or conceal some part of the truth -- for the rest of my life' but he did it anyway, hoping that first affair, 'would be ENOUGH, that THEN we could move on and outlast it.'"

Whedon, for his part, did not respond directly to Cole's accusation. In a statement on behalf of the director, a spokesperson told The Wrap:

"While this account includes inaccuracies and misrepresentations which can be harmful to their family, Joss is not commenting, out of concern for his children and out of respect for his ex-wife."

However, in light of the accusations made by Cole, the biggest Whedon fan site has since shuttered. In a final post, the admins of Whedonesque.com, have decided to cease all updates and encouraging readers to donate to charities that deal with Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD).

So farewell then. 15 years is a long time and a lot of water has flowed under the bridge. But now it's time to say goodbye. No more threads after this one, we're closing down. The site will at some stage become a read only site. So if you want to leave your contact details in this thread for other posters to get in touch that would be great otherwise email us at whedonesque@gmail.com.

The admins would like to thank the posters at this site. You made this site and we wouldn't have lasted as long as we could without you. So thank you. And if you want to mark our passing, please find a charity or organisation that deals with the treatment of Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) and leave a donation.

And a special thanks to Caroline who I had the privilege of meeting."


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Comments 44 total

Aaron Hong

with any luck she's gonna start directing stuff and maybe we'll have some variety for a change

1

Lkjhvc

/7 It's not my fault
(mea culpa)
I'm not to blame
(mea culpa) /7

2

Crazy Guy With An Eddystone

SENSITIVE JOSS WHEDON
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V
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J
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W
H
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O
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4

Monster Kid

It's like Whedon was just steadily falling apart as the years went on and his shitty behavior started to manifest more and more… except not, since he started cheating YEARS before Age of Ultron had those creepy undertones in them. Buffy was "Femenist" because the female protagonist wasn't exactly common, and so the guy seems to think he is one. What an egotistical dickhead.

-2

Chris the Lovable Jerk

Eh, don't really know if I buy it or not. Have any of these 'up and coming actresses' come forward to prove her claims?

For all we know she's just bitter and jealous and trying to damage his reputation.

0

Chris the Lovable Jerk

Yeah, and stuff like what I said happens as well.

Back in the fifties Charlie Chaplin was forced to pay child support for the child of one of his former wives/girlfriends even though the blood test proved he wasn't the father. It was thrown out of court because the blood test was a new thing and the public was so against him on the word of a woman who claimed that he took advantage of her.

All I'm saying is I'd like some proof before we take sides.

2

fastbreak333

"Following their separation in 2012, Whedon confessed to the affairs."

Right there in the article dude. Unless Whedon is lying to make himself look bad, I’d say it’s pretty much confirmed.

1

mayne83

Haha, what a privileged CIS-SCUM-PIG! Not just in the receiving end of all the benefits of the patriarchal society, also emotionally raping his wife by cheating on her. Literally a NAZI!

2

Druplesnubb

For reference, if you look through this poster's user history you'll see that they alternate between acting like a hyperfeminist who trows out rape accusations like free candy and uses the word "cis" like it's somehow negative, and acting like a literal nazi wishing for the extermination of all the "cucks" and non-whites. This poster is either a troll or has some REALLY messed up views.

2

Mr. Candles

Once again, the aggressive champion of "virtue" turns out to be lacking in that exact department, attacking people over perceived moral faults of this sort yet partaking in one of the worst.
And it keeps getting funnier, every single time it happens.

4

TheAnt

>Zack's daughter dies
>Takes leave of absence
>WB uses this as an opportunity to salvage JL
>get Joss Whedon
>reworks scenes that needed more work
>Joss gets caught as a cheater

At this point, Justice League is gonna be a spectacle regardless of the actual quality of the film.

9

ClubFlourish

Cheating on your wife has nothing to do with being pro feminist. You can still champion woman's rights if you want.

-4

WezliGiantsbane333

Having sex with men doesn't mean you can't still be anti-gay. It just makes you a giant hypocrite.

10

RobyBang

It's not that he cheated, it's that he abused his power as a director to have sex with young actresses that he employed. I mean, this isn't just third-wave rainbow haired feminism we're talking here. That's like, old school 40's-60's feminism with women going like "Hey, we want to enter the workforce and not have our creepy balding older boss chase us around the desk or make us trade sex for favors, kthx."

12

torvik

Gosh, that's frustrating! Where does the article say that "he abused his power as a director to have sex with young actresses that he employed" ?!?! Damn, society can be quick to assume the worst.

He cheated on his wife? Well, then, it was probably with some young girl he seduced at his work his with his greedy, filthy mind. It obviously wasn't a relationship based on mutual feelings. He's just a gross old man abusing his power to get with pretty young girls.

So fickle. I wonder what it says about a person when they assume the worst about others that easily.

In case you miss my point:
- no where did Kai say he was manipulating people for sex
- no where did Kai single out "having sex with young actresses"
- no where did Kai say he was abusing his authority at work for sex

But keep jumping to your nasty, salacious conclusions. It's juicier that way.

-2

Jackhound

Ever noticed that when something goes wrong in Whedon's life, he completly destroys all internet access to him? First Twitter and now his own website.

5
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