CERN Lab Reportedly Opens Fourth Of July Portal To Demonic Underworld, According To Memes And Conspiracies

CERN, the physics research center in Switzerland famous for discovering the Higgs-Boson “god particle” back in 2012, turned its largest hadron collider back on this week, leading many online to wonder if the scientists there had – knowingly or unknowingly – opened a portal to another dimension.

At the Large Hadron Collider, particles are pushed along a 17-mile tube at near-light-speed. They are smashed directly into each other and scientists then observe the results. By running these experiments, scientists hope to test theories in quantum mechanics and observe the behavior of small particles and atoms.

Some online, however, impart more sinister motives to the European research organization in various conspiracy theories. According to posts made on Twitter, the experiments conducted at CERN may open gateways between our world and other dimensions.

Some seemed to think these gateways could offer a route for demons to travel into our world. In particular, the timing of the experiments for the week of the 4th of July led some to speculate that the likely drunkenness of many Americans (who, when drunk, are supposedly more susceptible to demonic possession) was a contributing factor to the lab’s decision.

On the other hand, others thought that the portal opened by CERN might offer an escape from our current reality into a better one.

Just woke up and stepped outside, @CERN wtf happened pic.twitter.com/Cx4vokIYMZ

— Jorge (@king6eorge_) July 5, 2022

Congratulations, CERN just fucked with space time again but you've made it into the best possible timeline. You can now relax, create, and just vibe.

— nikki (@ateenyalien) July 5, 2022

Many posters simply expressed bafflement, joking and memeing about the possible consequences of a Franco-Swiss research lab screwing with the fabric of space-time.

GODAMNIT CERN! pic.twitter.com/lJPKWkZSyr

— SorryHat 𝕬𝖙𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖓𝖊𝖞 𝖆𝖙 𝕲𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝕷𝖆𝖜📓 (@sorry_hat) July 5, 2022

A few objected to CERN for a more mundane reason — the massive energy required to collide particles seemed a bit excessive, especially in the middle of a global energy crisis and climate change.

CERN – Turns in the LHC today but …On the 27th June France issued a warning of possible electricity rationing. Yet barely a week later they can find enough spare capacity from their grid to power CERN – which uses as much electricity as 300,000 homes a year 🤷‍♀️How odd. pic.twitter.com/e5yP4fxgwg

— Bernie's Tweets (@BernieSpofforth) July 5, 2022

So, instead of blaming astrology for your weird mood, you might blame astrophysicists.

sorry i cann’t come into work today, the CERN machine gave me a tummy ache

— transgender marx (@JUNlPER) July 6, 2022