People Are Sharing Tips On How To Masturbate After Getting Tear Gassed
In perhaps the bleakest example of Modern Problems Require Modern Solutions ever, Twitter users are sharing advice on how to masturbate after being tear-gassed at one of the nations numerous protests against police brutality after the death of George Floyd.
On Saturday, Twitter user @fionerss tweeted "PRO TIP: if you are exposed to mace and/or tear gas DO NOT MASTURBATE, EVEN AFTER YOU WASH YOUR HANDS SEVERAL TIMES. this is not a joke i’m suffering" (a top reply asked "what could possibly turn you on after that," which, fair).
This set off a chain of people sharing similar experiences and concerns with others offering advice on how to touch yourself after coming in contact with the substance, which is banned in war by the Geneva convention, that has been regularly been used by police forces against American protestors during the protests.
Among the constructive responses, Twitter users recommended waiting three days after getting tear-gassed before masturbating, even if you wash your hands multiple times. If you must masturbate, wear gloves.
As for how @fionerss could fathom getting off after experiencing police brutality, she put it quite simply:
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IAmTheDanger
This site is becoming more and more like Yahoo by the day.
Zuthal
Also, remember that any clothes or jewelry you wore while being teargassed, and also your phone, are contaminated as well! You need to wash your phone as thoroughly as your hands, or you'll just recontaminate when you go to tweet about your experience and share photos (after stripping out the exif data and blacking out the faces/identifying features of any protesters of course, gotta stay safe!).
MrBoom420
masterbate during the prote-
AT THE PROTESTS