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Why Own A Musket For Home Defense? The 'Just As The Founding Fathers Intended' Copypasta Explained
Over the years, Americans have come up with some pretty unorthodox means of home defense, from Home Alone-ing their properties to creating an arsenal larger than the first floor of their houses. But few are as memorable (or perhaps stereotypically American) as the thought of using a musket to defend one's property from potential intruders.
Here's where the viral home defense method came from, what the "Own a Musket for Home Defense Copypasta" is, and why it's become a running joke online.
What Exactly Is A Musket, And What Does It Have To Do With The Founding Fathers?
The musket was developed in Spain in the 1600s. It was a long black-powder weapon that sometimes had a knife-like attachment called a bayonet and was widely used in the United States starting in the 17th century. Naturally, this means it was still around when the Founding Fathers were around to start the Revolutionary War.
For the time, the musket was considered a very impressive technological achievement in weaponry. In our times, it would be incredibly impractical and absurd, but it could probably deal heavy damage to a home intruder (with enough reloading time, of course).
Why Is Owning A Musket For Home Defense A Viral Joke And Meme?
Back in 2014, an anonymous 4chan user decided to envision what using a musket in the modern age would look like, particularly when using it as a means of home defense. This 4chan user posted the following:
People seemed to be entertained by this idea, particularly the claim that this was "just as the Founding Fathers intended," a line tagged onto later versions of the meme.
The story then spread as a copypasta but was sometimes heavily modified. The most widely circulated copypasta text reads:
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball-sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbor's dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot, "Tally ho lads" the grapeshot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
How Is Owning A Musket For Home Defense Referenced Online?
It typically appears as a copypasta or a very similarly phrased wall of text. Usually, it's not just a musket they're talking about. It's also other archaic forms of weaponry, like the notoriously inaccurate shotguns of the past.
Sometimes, simply referencing a musket is enough. For instance, one 4chan user also told a story about his grandfather with a musket. In typical 4chan fashion, the post is littered with slurs and profanities, and tells the story of the grandfather acquiring a musket to use as home defense, then using it to stop an attempted assault near his home.
To learn more about owning a musket for home defense, be sure to check out Know Your Meme's encyclopedia entry for more information.